Vă rog un eseu /compunere despre "by changing nothing,nothing changes".. URGENT! mulțumesc!
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I really like this quote- it is so simple and obvious- yet so accurate. It is something we all probably know in our hearts is the truth, yet we commonly spend more time avoiding this truth than living by it. The fact is; that we must action our way out of problems, and that change produces change!
The depressive and negative person that keeps complaining…’my job is so boring’ ‘I’m so overweight’ ‘everyone else is having a better time’. Yet when you, as their good friend, point out that they could change jobs, try a new sport, engage in a hobby etc - all you get is their resistance and their excuses.
The addict who is not only in denial about their using to their friends and family, but also manages to fool him/herself a lot of the time while entertaining excuses such as ' well I can only quit if my partner was more supportive..' ' no way is this a good month to quit drinking - its Christmas for goodness sakes' 'yes but if I stopped that would mean not being able to go to bars with my best friends and clearly that would be bad for my mood'
The perpetual procrastinator who keeps saying they are going to do x,y, z and even enthusiastically believe it will happen. But every time they sit down to do it - distractions are sought out or there just so happens to be more pressing things coming up in between. Week.. after month …after year go past and rather than acknowledging the blatant facts; that the time will never COME to them- the excuses keep raining in and status quo is achieved at the cost of no progression.
For those of you who feel like I am stating the obvious, the point I am trying to make is this;
Often, we know very well that doing something in a situation would be the best for us long term, but we simply cannot mobilise ourselves to do it. One of the troubles in life is that we cannot always rely on our motivation, or our feelings in general, to give us the prompt we may need to make positive changes in our lives. Sometimes we have to commit to make them anyway! Needless to say- that is a lot harder. As a Psychologists these are questions you are often presented with from clients who have sought you out because they really do wish to change….
‘why do things never change for me’
‘why is this relationship still not living up to my expectations’
‘this job is still not filling my needs – only everyone else keeps getting promoted’
‘why do I continue to lose when I gamble- surely at some point the luck should turn’
‘I cannot believe I have not seen any results even if I keep going on diets’
Let us handle them all collectively- because they are all connecting back to the same thing.
The common denominator is that the person is not changing anything themselves on a behavioural level. They are either waiting for a situation to change; so that emotional change can be achieved, or they are waiting for their ‘emotional winds’ to turn in their favour so that they can then act themselves out of their situation. The trouble with this attitude is that you are leaving the control over your life and your changes to external sources. When we fail to see your own involvement in our own problems, regardless of how unfair it might feel for us to have them, we end up relinquishing our power over changing a situation to someone/something else. This will typically generate even more negative feelings and a sense of having no control. This vicious cycle can just keep spinning. Less control------ less confidence things can change- demotivated--- less action…- repeat.
As time progresses and things continue not to change, we also end up losing trust and faith in ourselves – making it even less likely that we will get ourselves together to do something about a problem.
Habit can also be partially to blame in these situations, as we may get so used to executing things in a particular fashion that we fail to see that if we changed something in the way that we approach the situation.
If you have a problem, do recognise that you need to look at that problem with no filters of illusion, without telling yourself lies, without denying bits of the reality and also recognising where the thoughts starts to lead us astray ad keep us stuck in thinking mode. When all we do is great thinking without acting – you will find that nothing actually changes. We have to ACT when we have a problem.